I am set for Friday at lunchtime to correct or completely wreck my vision by way of a laser beam to evaporate the surface of my eyeballs. This elective PRK surgery, alternatively described as an industrial energy beam calibrated to char away the cornea, will permanently change how I see the world. With good fortune my vision will be clear, free of ghosts and halos, and I will not be blind. Yes, that’s the best I’m hoping for – that I will not be worse off than now with the hassle of glasses. This has brought me to some contemplation as to which of my vital human senses I would be willing to sacrifice, if I had the choice. On purely pragmatic terms it would have to be my sense of taste since that’s just for the joy of flavor. Vision may be the worst practical function to lose since that must be how we perceive the most information. But I think I’d still miss my hearing the most if that would cut out music from my life.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if there was some kind of corrective laser surgery for your inner ear. Maybe it would open an extended frequency range so you could hear deeper sub-bass and jam out on music for dogs. More realistically, it would be a benefit to humanity to get some relief from tinnitus, of which I think I suffer mildly. When I’m heinously sleep-deprived (pretty much daily) there’s a high-pitch ring deep in my head. I can tune it out most of the time, but when I think about it is definitely there. I can function just fine, and filter it out, but it’s always there. I expect it will get worse and I may become less functional. As a matter of fact, I do have a real problem holding a conversation with even moderate background noise. I think about the life of an audiophile who might outlay serious cash and other resources to attain pure, immaculate audio reproduction. I can only dream of a medical miracle that could plug deep into the brain and bypass all the flaky wiring in between.